14.
Theatre of Relevance –Nurturing Youth for Gender Equity!
-Manjul Bhardwaj
A girl was burnt alive in an examination hall in Ulhas Nagar in front of all college. A girl was stabbed till death in front of Thane station in open public view. Acid was thrown on a girl’s face, these horrific violent headlines shaken us. These murders were carried by young & adolescent Men. These were typical murders of one sided love affairs. The reason was intolerance to NO by a girl. This intolerance is nurtured by a patriarchal mindset since childhood. What is patriarchal mind set,” Girl or women in all forms i.e. sister, daughter, mother, wife or friends are Man’s property. A girl has no right to decide for herself.” Young men experience this violence in their homes. They witness these gender based violence everywhere in society. So gender based violence is a normal behavior for Young men. It is embed in the DNA of Indian society. All those men who beat their wives or engaged in gender based violence are recognized as Mard by the patriarchal society.
So to deal with violent mind set we facilitated gender sensitivity workshop. We specially designed these ‘Theatre of Relevance’ modules for adolescent & youth. Both girls & boys participate in these residential modules. We collaborated with NSS units & women cell of colleges all over India along with various organizing working on this issue.
I am amazed to see how young boy perceive a girl. In a workshop I did an exercise, I asked them what kind of life partner you dream in your life. The boys wrote 105 qualities. I processed this dream list. Every one wrote the girl should be educated. I asked them, ‘how will it be possible?’ When men don’t allow her to educate as father, brother, husband or neighbor, we chase her; hinder every path in such a way that she stops her education. No separate toilet for girls. No one understands their menstrual cycle. So from where will you bring your dream life partner?
Next wish was their life partner must stand with them in crisis. I asked, ‘how will it be possible?’ From Childhood she is not allowed to deal with the outside world. She is not allowed to take her decision. She is not allowed to develop economically. In this social reality, when you will be in crisis how she will help you. Basically men in Indian society want to be a banyan tree & they want their wives as Cuscuta (अमर बेल).
One right wing boy got agitated & said, ‘girls & boys can’t be equal’. These bangle hands are weak. I asked a girl to gift a bangle to this boy. The boy boiled in anger. He constantly spoke in anger for half an hour. After he stopped, I said, “The word bangle generated so much heat. This word put you on fire. Is this weak? The bangles are strength of power. In some religion man also wear. The hands with bangles are very powerful.
Boys have different fantasy about their first night. The girls should cry. She should feel the pain. She should have to do the intercourse on the first night. If she doesn’t then she will not be loyal. Virginity is another taboo. I process these misplaced fantasy in almost every workshop. In one workshop I asked the girls & boys to interview their parents about their first night. I asked them, ‘are you born with consent or your father forced himself on his wife as a patriarchal norm?’ The group asked for a break. The boys didn’t turn up on time after the break. I searched for them. The boys have locked themselves in bathroom. They were all crying to think ‘Did my father ask for my mother’s consent?’ Later all the participants interviewed their parents about their first night. The parents invited me for a common discussion. It was a wonderful sight to see everyone pledge to seek consent & respect No!
We started these gender sensitivity modules in 2001 and still continuing. Our commitment is to nurture youth for gender equity to create a violence free society.
.. to be continued…
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